The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

This movie is so bad that it is funny. I am not sure what is up with these sexy historical dramas. With the cable show The Tudors and this one, it seems to be a trend. Also, let’s not forget all those Elizabeth movies.

The Boleyn Girl is a quasi-historical telling of the English King Henry the 8th, and his many women. Specifically, the divorce of Catherine of Aragon, which lead to the English split with the Roman Catholic Church, and beheading of Anne Boleyn; who gave birth to Elizabeth the 1st. The story, albeit, is told from a feminists’ point of view.

The strongest part of the film is its star power. Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, and Eric Bana are the main characters. I would probably would not see this obvious soap opera if it did not have Portman and Johansson, probably the two most beautiful women in film right now. From what my sister tells me Bana is also attractive. So this is the selling point all three of them in the same movie.

Not advertised but The Boleyn Girl also stars Jim Sturgess. He is the charismatic leading man from the recent hits Across the Universe and 21.

Another interesting aspect is that it seems that the movie was shot on location at the Tower of London; so that actual places where these events really took place.

Sadly, that’s where the realism ends. The rest of movie is a bit of a joke, and not even a cheeky one at that. There is such high drama it is suffocating. It is easy to laugh at it, because it is so over-the-top. It makes a Mexican soap-opera look like a BBC special.

On a bit of a disturbing note, Anne Boleyn, the agent of deceptive change that causes everyone great suffering and also the split of the church, is played by Natalie Portman; a Jewish girl is the icon of Semitic beauty. The good girl, who is blond and very Nordic looking, is played Scarlett Johansson. In the end Boleyn, Portman, gets beheaded. This is the classic anti-Jewish myth. I hope I am wrong in seeing this anti-Semitic theme.

Anyway, the movie is bad. Even the eye candy doesn’t make it worth it. The events are so laced with a feminist residue so that it spoils any historical relevance. It would be a good Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie, if anyone remembers that old Comedy Central show. I am not even sure that this movie is still out in theatre as I have taken forever to get this review out. Nevertheless, skip this one.

Atonement (2007)

Atonement is like two stories, hence two movies. One is very good and one isn’t. Based on a novel that I now want to read, Atonement tells story of an event; what leads up to the event, and the effects of that event.

The first part is set up a like thriller. It has an effect a little like the movie Momento(2000) in that is told in not quite a chronological order. I really like this because it seems true a memory. It feels like you are inside someone’s head as think about something and rethink it.

You have a bizarre preteen in a love triangle of sorts with her older sister, and the maid’s son Robbie, whom both girls have known since childhood. Both sisters have a burgeoning interest in him. The older sister Cecilia and Robbie are at the beginning of starting a romantic relationship. The younger sister Briony, who has an active imagination, watches them through a window and thinks she catches them in a sexual act. Later she really does. That same night two of cousin, two little boys run away. Everyone in the house party that night, including Robbie, go looking for them. During the search, another cousin, who is also a preteen girl, is raped. She doesn’t see who does her, but Briony who walks in on the act says it was Robbie. The viewer knows it was someone else.

When Robbie comes back with the two boys found, he is arrested based on Briony’s story and his stature in society. Cecilia is heartbroken and distrusts Briony’s story, but it does little good.

This part is excellent. It is a taut thriller. It is shoot beautifully, actually the whole movie is. Everything is beautiful. I have never seen Keira Kinghtly look more beautiful. I actually couldn’t stand her before. Everyone looks glamorous here.

I kept thinking that my grandfather was the same age as the characters at the same time this story is suppose to take place, which gave it an interesting perspective.

The second part isn’t so good. Although early World War II England is interesting to see, and there is some historical interesting aspects to it, once Robbie goes off to war it just becomes really boring. There are some interesting bits about nursing in World War II London. I suspect that book goes into that a little more. Robbie and Cecilia to stay together through everything, but they meet a tragic ends. It ends with a present day interview with Briony and offers some plots twists, but the end is unsatisfying. They should have done something with the second part to make it better like edit it down.

While leaving the theatre, I heard people talking, as the post movie analysis usually happens in New York theatres, some people said that couldn’t have watch it on T.V,and others said that it made them appreciate the book more. I can see how this must have been great book.

I think this is a movie to see on the big screen, if you are going to see it, because it is the only way to appreciate fully it’s beauty, which is really it’s strongest feature. Well that and the actors are amazing.

Elizabeth, The Golden Age (2007)

Elizabeth, The Golden Age is the worst directed movie that I have seen this year. Only an inept director could take three of the best actors in England, and make the story of one of most interesting times of English history boring. OMG, this is a very big budget film, and it feels like it was put together by a 12 year old. The score is so over the top, it is annoying. Watching this you feel like you are missing the emotional story because you can’t believe the filmmaker could get it so wrong. There are long sequences where you wonder, what was THAT about. There is a long bath scene with Elizabeth that goes on so long that you wonder if some more is going to happen, like a lesbian scene. Nothing happens! It just lags.

The movie stars Cate Blanchette, who I think is a brilliant actress, and she is brilliant as always. She shines on the screen. She plays this role again, as this is a sequel, but even she can not save it. Clive Owen, England’s coolest actor, is positioned like a bland male interest in some generic chick-flick. Geoffrey Rush does his thing too. All are competent and give interesting performances. In fact, the actors are great.

The pacing is just off. The score made getting a drink of water into an emotional moment. The camera work was just irritating. Sometimes there would be circular camera movements that would just repeat until you get dizzy from the spinning.

Now, I am all for England. I have been there many times and I have British friends, but the night and day depicting of the English vs. The Spanish reminded me too much of the G.I. Joe cartoon from the mid-80’s.

More about the camera, the color tinted is reminiscent of a bad 70’s movie you might have caught on TV on a Saturday afternoon in the 80’s and will never see the light of day since. Even the colors were boring in this film.


Elizabeth, The Golden Age could be greatly improved by a re-edit and a re-scoring. Some producer should have seen the dailies and fired the director, Shehkar Kapur. Walking out of the film, you feel it is two hours of your life that you want back.

Ali G in Da House (2002)

Fucking hilarious!!! It is a laugh riot. Ok, well you have to be akin to Sasha Baron Cohen’s ultimate idiot faux gansta, Ali G. Well, maybe not, because it is so stupid that it is brilliant.

Most American’s know Ali G for his two years on HBO. Some know that he was a big hit in England before that. In fact, most of the jokes on the American Ali G show are right off the British version.

Ali G in Da House was not released in America. I saw it on DVD, on a vacation to London in 2002. It was released here after Ali G gained popularity and now is available on DVD.

It starts out with Ali G in an East L.A. gang war. He is caught up defending two Mexican woman, who he speaks French to. He saves a little Mexican boy, and tells him that “life is the greatest thing that Jah has given us.” Then he wakes up.

He lives with his grandmother in an upper middle class neighborhood in suburban England. He calls the local police force the LAPD, while he jams out to reggae. He has his name on his car above the drivers seat and “Me Bitch” written on the passenger seat.

Ali is the head of the “West Staines Massive,” his gang, which includes him and British comedian from the UK "The Office", Martin Freeman; plus some other guy. They are combated by the “East Staines Massive;” a rival gang. Think of the Bloods and the Cripes, if they were on the Disney channel.

Ali’s job, if he actually gets paid, is to terrorize small suburban kids into thinking that they will be fighting the next gang war. Maybe he actually believes "South Central" England will arrive any minute- it’s just funny.

The community center, which he works at, is going to be torn down. Now, Ali G has to do something about that in a more gansta way. So, he runs for Parliament, and has the best time, until he is confronted by an enemy that is “eviler than Skelator.”

There are plenty of bad words, sexual references and potty humor. It’s great.

Happiness in magazines – Graham Coxon (2004)

Music for graphic designers, it seems like it would help if you were single, somewhere between 25 – 35 years old, artsy, and urban to understand where ex-Blur guitarist Graham Coxon is at with this album. If you are, I think you might love it. Happiness in magazines is a formidable guitar driven disc, typical of Coxon’s fluidity with a Fender.

It is hard not to hear Blur at the start of each song. It is like a George Harrison album in that way. Harrison’s style defined the Beatles sound. Likewise, Coxon’s style gave Blur an added lift and balanced out Damon Albarn’s lyrics.

With this album, Coxon’s is confident and in control of his music. The songs seem focused, energetic, and developed. Songs like “Freaking out,” which I think is the best track here, are semi-punk assaults on the listener. Most of the album is a full-fledged rock album. The songs are short, loud, and the lyrics aren’t bad either.

Coxon performs most of the album entirely by himself and he painted the album art.

Coxon writes about what he knows, his friends, living in London, and his emotional state. My favorite lyric is from the song “no good time,” is “graphic designer, you could look no finer in your eyeliner and your silas jeans.” He paints very a specific pictures and I know exactly whom he is talking about. Another song like “hopeless friend” takes you into this hipster/artsy world. These songs are more like an exposé’s of these people’s lives, and it is not always positive. He isn’t trying to sound hip or necessarily write music that these people would listen to.

There is something very honest here, and it comes out as confidence in the songs. There is an intelligence and sensitivity that is easy to feel and connect to.

The US version of Happiness in magazines has 13 tracks on it, which includes the bonus one. About 10 out of 13 are good.

The track, “bittersweet bundle of misery” sounds a lot like “Coffee and TV” from Blur, which I think is their best song.

This album is really hard to find. I couldn’t find it in New York City. I found it at Reckless Records in Chicago, which is small chain of used records stores.

Overall, I really like this album. It is easy to get into, and I find myself wanting to listen to the whole album instead of a single track or two.